9.07.2005

I love my family. I like my job. I am content with where I am mentally. I make good money and have good relationships with all those close to me. I could perhaps, stay focused on my job and maintaining my family life and I believe we would all be quite happy.
Why go against the grain now when I could be so content with my simple pleasures? My talent isn't extraordinary, in fact, I scoff at refering to it as talent. The world of photograhy itself, while vast, is extremely saturated, especially with the accessibility brought on by digital. I am very new to the idea of photographer as a career. Through research I found that the average photographer's salary is on par with what I make currently. The education itself is valuable as any education is but a degree in the field would be at least 2 years off. There are millions of people who enjoy taking pictures, what is the seperation of my interest from theirs; Is my interest different? I've had other interests in life, and while my passion has led me somewhere at times I am no where now as result of it. I got into computers obsessively and while it led to a few certifications and above average knowledge of applications and hardware, but I have no desire to work in the field. Is this any different?

I was distrought over my absence of an ambition. Just 6 months ago, in an emotional conversation with my wife, I expressed how envious I was that she knew what she wanted to achieve, and how I have felt lost for years. I wanted a purpose, a calling, a star to reach for. He opened my eyes and it has been building up since. Funny thing about it is, I have been an artist all my life, penciling, writing, painting, graphic design, and never once thought of photography as a form of expression and creativity. It has always been right in front of me and I never put it together, instead drifting from one artform to another producing but never being fulfilled. This is different.

My resolve is this; I will get better, I will stand out . My passion for this is beyond everything else. Watch and see!

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