11.16.2005

Why Photography? part 2


Cloud Play
Originally uploaded by christopherd6.
My initial answer to this question was playful and superficial. Having been haunted by my answer for the past two days, I figured the only way to satisfy this feeling would be to pour myself into the answer.
Why photography?
Photography because it's the perfect blend of art and technology, satisfying my 50/50 personality, allowing me to be analytical and creative about every capture. Photography because it can be history, it can be art, it can be emotional, humorous, sensual, thoughtful,... nothing. It can be all these things and it can be nothing. Photography beacause it only takes one shot. A career can be forged, history can be made, inspiration can be ignited, lives can be changed from a single shot. Photography because I'm in control of the outcome, like so little else in life, I know that with the turn of this knob and the push of that button I can achieve "my" perfection time and again. Photography because I love connecting through that lens, with every subject, every scene, every soul. It's like grabbing something and never having to let go. Photography because when I am out in nature with my camera by my side and my music playing through the headphones over my ears, everything makes sense. Everything. Photography because its so simple to do and so difficult to master. Photography because I am not that good at it and will never be as good as I'd ever hope to be. Photography because I can always improve.
Photography to go back to school. Photography to see the world I never cared to see before.
Photography because honestly, I never dreamed before it.

I didn't intend to sound as prose. I wrote it and now I feel naked. The truth is, I prayed for this. Not photography specifically but for some direction in my life. I knew there was more to who I am and I for the longest time felt lost. I as grew into the role of husband and father I became more stressed at the idea of never having a goal. I still remember the heartfelt conversation with my wife about how I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I wouldn't say my life was in turmoil but it had been a little rough and though I am an optimist, things had started to wear on me. When I was told I'd be able to attend school, I was happy but I honestly would have let the opportunity go by again if not for the strange sequence of events that transpired. The encouragement of my blind step father, the confidence of my loving wife, the generosity of my best friend, these are the things that brought it into fruition. It feels wierd to say it changed my life, but it did. I know myself better than I did before, I'm enrolled in school, I have purpose to most all I do. It didn't take alot of thought, my path was laid clearly before me. Now, I find it hard to believe its only been 5 months. I think that with photography has come an appreciation for each day, as everyday was a new experience, a new subject, unique in its own way. Sunday, November 13th, the sky was a beautiful blue, the clouds were out dancing across the sky. Today was clear and by sunset the sky was lit with a hundred shades of orange.
I have read 13 books on photography in the passed months. Taken 10,000 photos since July 14th. Interviewed 10 amatuer and semi-pro photographers since late September. All this and more, just to learn. And I'm far from done , but it doesn't seem obsessive in the least, it feels like I've always wanted to feel, dedicated.
I'm not far enough up the road to see the end of it, and like I said, "it didn't take a lot of thought" I just started walking in the direction I was led. I may end up the photojournalist for the local newspaper, I may end up a fashion photographer, I may shoot sports for a professional league, I may do stock photography or National Geographic, shoot celebrities or crime scenes... I don't know, but I will be a photographer.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Well said.

Wed Jan 25, 10:51:00 AM  

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